Do as I Say, Not as I Do
There are days when the need to finish the puzzle is so urgent that no distraction can get in the way. Last Thursday was one of those days. I headed with Times in hand toward the car for my bi-weekly, 90-minute stretch of peace and quiet....
No! I can hear you shouting. Enough with the parking already!!!
Bear with me. This time it’s different, I promise. Because when I got to the car, at 7:58am, there were orange cones lining my side of the street. Normally, signs will warn you days in advance if there will be a change in the parking rules. A film director had decided, apparently at the last minute, to shoot on my block. And so, instead of sitting and filling squares and waiting patiently for the street sweeper, I was forced to move Louie. What this means is that a rather serious conflict arose, since I had set this time aside for the crossword puzzle.
While prowling the streets, it occurred to me that it is possible to work on a puzzle and look for a spot at the same time. It’s no doubt completely illegal. And counterproductive, too. Expert parking requires you to keep your eyes trained on the street ahead and watch for tell-tale signs that someone is getting ready to pull out—a parked car’s brake lights coming on, a person walking with keys in hand.
The maneuver proceeded without incident and even helped to clarify why crosswords and parking are twin passions. They scratch the same itch. Both exist in black and white universes (literally so in the case of crosswords). Both are about rules: with crosswords, there is only one right answer; with parking, either you are parked legally or you are not. In both cases, you must come up with clever and ingenious ways of getting to your goal, and the possibilities for how to do that are infinite.
If you do feel compelled to try this at home, learn from my mistake and don’t let the police see you steer with a pen in your hand.
No! I can hear you shouting. Enough with the parking already!!!
Bear with me. This time it’s different, I promise. Because when I got to the car, at 7:58am, there were orange cones lining my side of the street. Normally, signs will warn you days in advance if there will be a change in the parking rules. A film director had decided, apparently at the last minute, to shoot on my block. And so, instead of sitting and filling squares and waiting patiently for the street sweeper, I was forced to move Louie. What this means is that a rather serious conflict arose, since I had set this time aside for the crossword puzzle.
While prowling the streets, it occurred to me that it is possible to work on a puzzle and look for a spot at the same time. It’s no doubt completely illegal. And counterproductive, too. Expert parking requires you to keep your eyes trained on the street ahead and watch for tell-tale signs that someone is getting ready to pull out—a parked car’s brake lights coming on, a person walking with keys in hand.
The maneuver proceeded without incident and even helped to clarify why crosswords and parking are twin passions. They scratch the same itch. Both exist in black and white universes (literally so in the case of crosswords). Both are about rules: with crosswords, there is only one right answer; with parking, either you are parked legally or you are not. In both cases, you must come up with clever and ingenious ways of getting to your goal, and the possibilities for how to do that are infinite.
If you do feel compelled to try this at home, learn from my mistake and don’t let the police see you steer with a pen in your hand.
posted by DO at 5:55 PM
2 Comments:
Welcome back to blogland! (I was beginning to worry.)
My great-aunt from Great Neck is not a religious woman - with one exception. When driving in the city, she prays to the parking god. Amazingly, it works and spaces miraculously appear. Who am I to argue?
Driving and puzzling?!?! I now believe everything they say about New York drivers. Did you get a ticket?
Signed,
The woman who once called the highway patrol on a guy who was driving on the highway and reading People magazine propped up on his steering wheel.
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